I worked all my life since I was 18. Six – seven days a week, 12-hour shifts, night and day. I was a forklift instructor at Mini until I had a heart attack. My partner threw me out four weeks later, she told me the only thing I was good for was money. I moved into a room on my own in Oxford feeling used and abused, my heart was broken. I got really, really depressed, so my mother and brother brought me back to Swindon. I went back to work, but I had pains in my chest, I thought it was my heart. I was taken to hospital overnight and the doctor advised me to give up working. My mum said, ‘Sam, you're going to kill yourself’. I’d burnt myself out. I left work and spent the next ten years sleeping rough and sleeping in people's houses. It was basically ten years of hell.
I accepted and stayed there for 10 months. The place was a hell hole. There was one curtain on the window and one bathroom for four people. It was horrible.
A friend of mine was living with Threshold, and within 48 hours of completing an assessment with them, I was given a room. It was beautiful, all freshly painted, nice and clean. I became good friends with one of the housemates, we kept the place clean, we were good with the neighbours, I was in heaven. I was kissing my pillow every night, thinking of sleeping in car parks, on the concrete or cardboard and stealing out of shops
When I came to Threshold, I was drinking, smoking and partying and stupid things like that. I struggled to pay my service charges. Thankfully, my key worker got me a bank account and helped me claim benefits. I miss working and I know people look down their nose at me because I'm on benefits, but I paid my tax and insurance, I paid overtime.
If it wasn't for Threshold, I don't know where I'd be. God works in mysterious ways. My keyworker, Chris, I love him to bits. And if it wasn't for my daughter, I wouldn't be the man I am now. She came and found me on the 1st of February last year and I was a complete mess. So, I turned my life around. The marijuana stopped, the alcohol stopped, everything stopped, and even the cigarettes. I go to counselling every week, I pay for it myself. I thank God, say my prayers and I went back to church.
It has been a struggle, I've been lonely.. I’ve spent most of the last year in my room trying to stay away from the people I used to associate with. They knock on the door, and I can't walk through the town. But I can tell my daughter I've been straight and she supports me. I'm getting stronger and better. I don't even crave a cigarette in the morning when I wake up, I only have £190 outstanding service charges left to pay back now and Chris has nominated me for Band A housing – my own place!
I’m apprehensive about moving out from Threshold. It’s going to be strange, but it will be my own place. You’re not allowed to have pets stay at Threshold, so I'm getting a flat, a dog and a cat. I want a solid people in my life who care about me, love me for me and not for what I've got. I want to go to the movies. I want to go out to dinner. I want to lie on the sofa and watch TV. I want companionship.
The dog will be company for me, that's what I need, something to get me out of the house. I'll be happy stroking the dog, taking it for walks, feeding the cat, letting the cat in and out. I'm trying to have a normal life, I've got it all planned. I've been chasing a peaceful life for 56 years.
Threshold’s turned my life right around. I still kiss my pillow at night and think it's all too good to be true, what did I do to deserve this?
Homelessness is destroying lives in our community. A thousand people in Swindon do not have a home and many more households are at risk. Anyone can be affected by homelessness.
Please help us to end homelessness in Swindon.
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